Why am I so nervous? I just arrived in Manhattan and I never expected to have such a physical response to moving here. I’m shaking and sick to my stomach. Why am I scared? I’m living with a best friend and I’ve been in this town tons of times. Why does it feel different now?
A year ago, I was convinced that I would be moving to Denver, Colorado. The plan was at first to go with my boyfriend at the time but when that fell through, I was persistant to go alone. I have never lived in a city even close to that big but I really wanted to try it. So during spring break, a couple friends and I drove there to scope things out. As soon as we pulled into the city, I knew I didn’t want to move there. I loved the city when I visited but thinking about it as my “home” gave me a new perspective. When we reached the hotel, I sat my friends down and told them that I was sorry they came with me because I had already decided that I wasn’t going to move there after all. They were incredibly sweet about it and said, “Sometimes, you just know.” So we spent our time at the aquarium instead of doing a campus tour. Time well spent. :)
Stepping stones. Manhattan is a stepping stone. I went from a town of three thousand people, to a college town of 20,000 and now to a bigger college town of 40,000. Hopefully after living here for two months, I will be ready to move to a suburb of NYC. And if I’m not ready, oh well. This time, I’m going no matter what.
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